remember 2001-2004 though???!? remember windows xp and kerrang and neopets and shrek being a big deal and beyblades and ps2 skating/snowboarding games and “i believe in a thing called love” and flash video sites and avril lavigne and wearing chains on jeans and t.A.T.u. and seeing LOTR and PotC in cinemas and how every boy looked like reese from malcolm in the middle
top reasons why a mass effect movie series is a bad idea
- V I R M I R E
3. white straight male shep probably
4. whitewashed Anderson probably
6. whitewashed Ash reduced to nothing but The Love Interest who will likely die on Virmire to further Dudeshep’s Manpain
the funny thing about dril posts is that they actually do have a structure to them– they hit a kind of conceptual caesura halfway through, a point where there’s no inevitable logical connection between what’s been said and what’s still to come. here, the first sentence didn’t need to result in the second, yet it’s not “lol random” either; the speaker is angry about his boss’ draconian ferret-kissing policy, and reacts in kind, and even the reference to a “screen saver” reminds us that we’re in an office. it’s a narrative progression that, despite having an internal logic, alienates its punchline from its setup. who the hell is this person?
one thing i love about @dril posts is how they all seem to take place in a universe that is somewhat like our own, but with the habitus of white middle america taken to a bizarre, absurd, but strangely logical conclusion. take this one, for instance:
so we have our setting: a security guard protecting the american flag in the betsy ross museum, something almost archetypically american and middle class. but once again the first part, or setup, for the punchline, “fucking the flag,” careens the joke into an alien punchline that still, given the setting, makes sense. @dril’s security guard character imitates a sort-of cop-talk, the banter of a security guard, “buddy, they wont even let me fuck it”. you can imagine a similar response from a guard at any museum, but we’re talking about Fucking the American Flag, here.
i really love @dril.
it’s astonishing that a human being thinks of those posts. some person, someone out there whose existence we have to infer, because all we know is that those posts occur and they must be coming from somewhere. “the @dril tweeter” resonates as “the beowulf poet” does, except beowulf (which i’ve only read in translation, so i’m not an authority) has never made any use of the english language as baffling and sublime and somehow primally interlaced with the stuff of human consciousness as “IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL.”
This is my favorite post, I am so glad I found it again.
Level 70 priest healing the tank.
I want to see a reality tv show where straight dudes have to read the shitty messages they send to women to their mothers.
FDFGRRTF I. HAD A DREAM I WAS SHINJI IKARI AND I WAS WALKING AROUND TOWN ASKKNG PEOPLE IF THEY KNEW A GUY WITH LIGHT GRAY HAIR AN D FINALLY THIS LADY WHO WORKED AT A DANCE STUDIO SAID YEAH, HE SHOULD BE HERE IN A FEW MINUTES. SO IM LIKE OKAY!!!SWEET!!! SO I WAIT AND A CAR DRIVES UP AND its sephiroth
Finished Foxy and Freddy.
Freddy gets flame throwers on his finger tips. I can only imagine being put into one of these suits would probably consist of dismemberment.
When a character is your son, your husband and you at the same time you know you’re fucked